Torment of Sisyphus

In looking at Camus’ Myth of Sisyphus and its responses, I found myself disagreeing with the idea that we need to find ways to make Sisyphus happy. If Sisyphus is not simply at peace, then the scenario is varied so that he is addicted to rock pushing or only realizes his purpose through pushing rocks. The need to find Sisyphus’ happiness comes from making his situation analogous to all of our situations in an absurd world. But why does Sisyphus need to be happy? Why should his eternity have meaning? To say that Sisyphus is an analogy for our own lives involves not only the mundane comparison of rock pushing to our every-day lives, but the fact that Sisyphus’ actions are mandated by gods who are angry with him and are purposely making him suffer. Why should we assume the same about our own lives? Perhaps part of the punishment is to make him despair at the absurdity of his task. We have the “escape” of suicide or dying in general (unless the afterlife is absurd as well; Sisyphus’ work takes place in Hades) but Sisyphus must go on. Whether he wills it or not, he will continue to push that rock up the hill and each time it will continue to fall down. His work will never be complete. As he walks down to find his rock again, instead of being at peace as Camus suggests, there must be the agony of having once again been so close to completing his labor. Surely, the work can not get easier the more times he does it; that would defeat the purpose of eternal struggle. But although we struggle in our lives do we go so far as to assume that life is a punishment? Perhaps if you belong to an Eastern religion and believe in karma, you feel that living means you haven’t achieved your enlightenment yet, but even here, simply being reincarnated isn’t a punishment as long as you are moving upwards on the ladder. Our lives are full of choices and variety, and as long as we are not certain that life is an absurdity, we can delude ourselves into believing in meaning. Even if there is no meaning, believing in it seems to make the absurd shrink in our perspectives. If meaning is all relative, then this is all that is necessary. If there is no meaning, big or small, are we harmed in any way by thinking there is or are we simply allowing ourselves to live as well as possible without meaning?

Too much of a good thing?

On the one hand, a vacation is very much needed. A break from the routine of classes stimulates our minds by changing pace. There is more time to study for exams that are coming up, catch up on work we have left to do, or just ignore school and work altogether and catch up on sleep, hang out, relax be with friends and get away from campus food. Finally, there's time to see all those movies that are coming out and just go and do what we want to do. It's a slow-down, to step back, take a deep breath and prepare to get ready for the next round.

On the other hand, just what is the right length of time? Too much time and a different routine emerges, sleep in, get up, eat lunch do nothing for a while and go back to sleep. And while the vacation seems like a break from moving too fast, really, we move to slowly. And then of course, because we have a break from our routines, we fill it up with things we normally aren't able to fit in, like doctor's appointments which of course need follow ups that we don't have time for because the break doesn't accommodate them. All the work we plan to catch up on to be ready when the pace of life picks up again never really gets done because there's always more time tomorrow to do work and it's vacation, lets sit and rest.

How much of a good thing is too much? At what point does the vacation stop being a good thing and become boredom on the calendar? Does this apply to all good things? If so, what about the good life? How good should the good life be?

Body and Health

How important is taking care of our bodies to leading the good life? On the one hand, we appreciate life with our minds and even ponder this question mentally. On the other hand, even a simple cold makes thinking that much harder. At the least, it is a distraction. A sentence is interrupted by a bout of coughing. At worst, it slows you down, thinking is impossible because you fall asleep as soon as you stop moving. Without being in good physical condition, it becomes nearly impossible to try and discover what the meaning of life is because our bodies are making demands to stop what we want to be doing and take care of it. In order to be able to contemplate anything, we have to maintain our physical health.

But then, when we are healthy again, we can feel our energy return to us. The coughing is gone like magic; it is as though it was never there. We are free now, not just to contemplate, but to act to participate in the world and have something to contemplate about. We regain our social connections which we temporarily lost; nobody wants to be around a sick person, particularly if they are contagious. It is depressing to be sick and that depression lifts with good health. But does illness make us appreciate our lives more when we are well? For some, yes. But for others, no. A cold can leave suddenly, or slowly fade so that we don't even realize it is gone for some time. Being sick is an obstacle to appreciating the meaning of life, but getting well again does not necessarily bring enlightenment.

Don't Panic

Reasons why panicking is bad:

Panicking makes it take longer to solve problems. Solutions that arise from panic can only be used as temporary measures at best, and at worst, they exacerbate the situation, rather than relieve it. On a more personal level, panicking increases stress levels, which affects hormones and brain chemistry, lowers the immune system and generally causes the body's physical state to complement one's mental collapse.

Staying calm does not do any of these things. Although it may take longer to come up with a solution to a problem, the solution will be more effective and more stable than the panicked one. Also, it will create less stress.

Since it seems obvious that remaining calm is better than panicking, why is it instinctual for so many people to panic when problems come up? Life is better without panicking. Perhaps it is because of the feeling of immediacy that panicking brings. Even when generating endless amounts of worthless solutions, there is a general feeling of accomplishment, that the problem is being solved. The more time consuming process of coming up with reasonable solutions to problems does not feel as though the problem is actually being solved.

Fight against the instinct, don't panic.

The Water Wheel

A short while ago, I saw a fountain with a water wheel. When the fountain was filled with water, the wheel could be set into motion. After the initial push to start the wheel going, the wheel was powered by the water itself, carrying the water from the bottom of the fountain, to the top, where it would fall down a chute back to the bottom. This system is closed and after the first push, does not interact with anything outside itself, but can it still have meaning? Without even awareness of itself, is the water wheel’s existence capable of having significance? If not, why does it exist?

Perhaps the importance of the water wheel is focused entirely in the first push. There is an initial dependence on outside forces even though it is completely independent afterward. The creation of a perpetual system is significant because someone or something has reached out beyond itself. But why does all significance have to involve outside interaction? The wheel itself is interacting with the water. Within the system, there is motion and relationships. Yet, even when it is motionless, the fact remains that there is a water wheel in the fountain, when there could just as easily not be one. One outcome of circumstance has won out over another. Perhaps that is significant in and of itself and does not need a larger meaning.

Introduction: A Note On Anonymity

The following entries were assigned as a class project, and out of respect for the privacy of our thoughts, we do not have to share our journals with the entire class. So why did I choose to make this journal a blog? On the internet, anybody has access to what I write and can comment and critique at will. Yet without any advertising (and I do not intend to advertise), it is unlikely that many people will stumble upon this blog, leaving it doomed to obscurity. Even in the unlikely event that this blog does gain a following, none of my readers will know who I am; I will be nothing but a voice. This way, should anyone come across this blog, my thoughts and ideas will be judged for themselves and will not be tainted by the bias that comes from knowing the author. If you do know who I am, please keep this information to yourself. I am a student.